Maury Povich Would Be a Super Star

I normally don’t publish my thoughts on people I don’t like, but this story has to be written.

Anna Nicole Smith was a pig. She was a pig when she dumped her husband, living in a trailer, and was stripping at a topless bar. She was a pig when she married 89 year old billionaire J. Howard Marshall because she “was in love” (wink, wink).

Then it just got better.

Her “old man” dies, she’s Playboy’s Playmate of the Year, she puts on about 100#, does a reality show where she is high on every episode, loses the weight, appears on the Grammys so high she is incoherent, and has a baby.

Then (catching my breath) her son dies from an overdose thanks in part to her mom’s addictions, she goes shopping for a yacht in Ft. Lauderdale leaving her baby in the Bahamas and overdoses herself (I know, toxicology reports are still coming but come on!), and now we have five guys coming forward as possible fathers????

I know, she died, have sympathy for her and her family. But how can you? She was a train wreck since day 1. Five possible fathers? There is only a window of 2-3 week max that this baby could have been conceived. Five possible fathers?

So, getting to my point, they should have a pay per view show special of Maury Povich and have these five guys on the show. Take the paternity tests, show some highlights of Anna Nicole’s life (minus the fat stage and her drugged up), and then have Maury do the infamous “in the case of Anna Nicole’s baby, Larry Birkhead, you are ‘NOT’ the father” (with a big sigh from the audience). It would be classic.

I bet it would get higher ratings than Geraldo’s Al Capone bank vault show! Maybe even higher than Hulk Hogan’s final appearance in WWF Smackdown. It won’t beat the Hee Haw Reunion show, but then again, what would?

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