Holiday stress, the feeling of being under pressure or overwhelmed during the month of December, is something many people experience. Often cited as the most wonderful time of the year, the busy season can leave individuals feeling anxious, depressed and depleted, both emotionally and financially. Tipton Counselor Chasity Montalvo, MA, LCAC, LMHCA, feels that managing holiday stress is possible by truthfully evaluating what is valued in life.
“When people are asked to name the top-three things that are most important in their life, they usually say, ‘God, family, finances or career,’” Montalvo says. “It’s what we say because we think that’s what we should say, or because we want it to be true, but our actions don’t always back it up. If we are addicted to a substance or even advertising, those top-three things don’t matter. However, God doesn’t care about gifts.”
“In truth, are the top-three things looking good or always buying the best brand?” Montalvo adds. “Are you trying to make everyone happy by spending money on a gift you think is best? Check with yourself and get back into alignment with your top-three things. Communicate with your family; kids have their own expectations and they might not be the same as yours. Maybe what is important to them is just sharing a good meal, not the right shirt or gift card.”
Montalvo shares that if responsibly managing finances is at the top of a person’s list, it must match up with their actions. For instance, if the budget for holiday spending is $500 but $3,000 is spent, an individual will be facing the first of the year in debt. Spending got out of control because it was allowed to happen.
Montalvo also suggests every family make a mission statement detailing values, philosophies, desires and intentions for the future. Fact-check the mission statement often. Be aware of family members’ love languages, and know what truly makes them happy. Keep in mind the importance of maintaining mind, body and soul.
“You must make sure that whatever you are doing is not going to hurt you,” she says. “If your love language is acts of service, the gift of that might not necessarily mean love to your family member. Make sure gratitude is expressed for what you do. Consider a no-spend holiday. We have so much food in our cabinets. Who says we need a turkey or ham? Just turn on Christmas music, laugh and eat what you have.”
Montalvo reveals that one Christmas, her grandmother died of alcoholism. Her cousin, Frank, died of a heroin overdose on another. Other people might turn to affairs or experience an increased struggle with seasonal affective disorder during the holidays.
“Everyone has issues, and some people work on them and some don’t,” Montalvo says. “When someone is stressed, they want to feel good. They may fall back on addictions because they would rather live with guilt and shame instead of getting stressed. Work on mind, soul, body all year long, not just during the holidays. Check your facts. Is your family’s mission statement true? We must do a check and balance against the top things we hold important, even when things are going well. That’s especially when you should fact-check and realign.”
Contact Montalvo at graciasadios42@gmail.com or call 765-540-9835.
