Hot Flashes & Belly Laughs
When women reach a certain age (usually 40s), we start having conversations with other females that often begin like this: “So, I’ve been dealing with this weird thing lately…”
That “weird thing” could be anything from itchy ears and dry eyes to a racing mind and unquenchable thirst. It could be vertigo, heart palpitations, phantom smells, twitchy legs, excessive clumsiness, inability to focus, sudden fear of driving, or an impending sense of doom.
If you find yourself questioning the cause of these symptoms, I’ll save you some time by letting you know that all this nonsense is due to perimenopause, which is that stretch of time prior to menopause when your body produces less estrogen. I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but this transition can last up to ten years. If you’re between the ages of 40 and 55 (perhaps even younger) and are experiencing annoying, odd, or surprising physical or mental symptoms, it’s likely perimenopause.
For five years, I grappled with terrible insomnia, thinning hair, intense anxiety, regular headaches, restless legs, dry mouth, painful hip, achy shoulder, throbbing joints, and brutally heavy periods. In addition to being hot, itchy, anxious, and overwhelmed, I felt like I was losing my mind as I struggled to recall certain words. Plus, I’d forget passcodes and people’s names. I’d space where I’d placed my keys, shoes, purse, or phone. I’d leave to run errands, get to the front of the neighborhood, and have to stop and think about where I was going so I knew whether to turn left or right out of the subdivision.
As if all of this wasn’t bad enough, stray hairs began sprouting above my upper lip, and pimples began forming on my chin. WTF? I looked like a cross between my husband and my teenager with facial hair and zits. And every day, regardless of how much rest I got the night before, I was dog tired. I finally figured out that I was in perimenopause, and it was kicking my ass.
When I met with a functional wellness doctor who specialized in hormone optimization, I felt seen, heard, and validated as she listened, took notes, drew my blood, and built a plan. She was able to offer evidence-based, practical strategies to get me back to the land of the living. Woo hoo!
Did you know that during perimenopause you may suffer anywhere from 10 to 100 symptoms that range from mildly irritating to beyond aggravating? There is, however, an upside to perimenopause. If you forget what you were saying mid-sentence, that’s perimenopause’s fault. If you put your husband’s underwear in your kid’s drawer or your dog’s food in your cat’s dish, perimenopause is the culprit. If you drop a plate while unloading the dishwasher or trip over your own feet on the way to the bathroom, that’s the work of perimenopause.
It really is ridiculous how hormones have rewired my mind and reconstructed my body. At a certain point, I had to laugh. When I found myself Googling, “tips for tolerating people,” I knew I must write a humor book about the experience. “Why Did I Walk into This Room? Finding the Humor When Perimenopause is Kicking Your Ass” offers hope for the hopeless, clarity for the confused, enthusiasm for the apathetic, and laughter for the lethargic. If perimenopause has commandeered your brain, wiped you of energy & motivation, and wreaked havoc on your sleep & sex drive, this book is just what the functional wellness doctor ordered!
Christy Heitger-Ewing will be speaking and signing copies of her book “Why Did I Walk into This Room?” on April 22 at Field Brewing for a women’s wellness event that combines education and humor. Also speaking will be Kate Marciniec, a Nurse Practitioner and owner of Solid Wellness and Aesthetics in Westfield, and Jackie Dikos, a private practice sports dietitian and owner of Nutrition Success. The event is from 6-8 p.m.
For more information, visit christyheitger-ewing.com.
